This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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