I got chris browned last night
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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