i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
