so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
