when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
