that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
