Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
