Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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