Did you just see the Batmobile???
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
