and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
FUCK WHALES
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
