I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize