oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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