Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
