He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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