hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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