We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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