it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
