i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
