he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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