Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you will always have a special place in my vag
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
