just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
