All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
