We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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