Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
