im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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