At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize