I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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