I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i wish my penis had a tongue
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
