Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
