its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
