I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
