i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
