There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
