oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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