How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
now i know why i became what i already was.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize