The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Randomize
