Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
