Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
