when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize