when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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