Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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