If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
