Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
