dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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