dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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