is your mom at the bar?
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
