4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
