Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
