Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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