Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
