you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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