hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
