I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
