So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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