Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
