That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize