For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
