theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
