Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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