Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
i think im in europe. pls send help
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
